Awareness of your thoughts is just the first step to changing a behavior. Next you must analyze your thinking.
Challenge your negative self-talk and replace it with a new perspective. Instead of “I can’t do anything right!” you can choose to say to yourself, “Keep trying, keep learning, you’ll master this if you don’t give up.”
Once you are aware of your self‐talk and you evaluate it for truth, you can intentionally develop new ways to speak to yourself with your inner voice. Changing your self‐talk to more positive words and statements is not enough. It is important to challenge and eliminate the lies you have been telling yourself. You will not be effective by having the positive statements mingled in with the negative self‐talk.
Do not be discouraged if your negative self‐talk keeps trying to repeat itself. Remember, it takes time to break old habits. With time, and repetition of the new and more positive choices for self‐talk, you will make progress. That is how the mind works.

I once heard a story of a man who took his little boy fishing along the banks of a river. The father and son got their gear set up and noticed another angler nearby. The little boy watched the other fisherman pull fish out of the river and measure them against his forearm. If a fish was smaller than his forearm he would toss the fish in a big cooler, but if the fish were longer, the fisherman would throw the fish back in the water.
After several minutes of watching this, the puzzled little boy asked his dad, “Why does that man keep the small fish and throw back the big ones?”
The dad said, “I don’t know, let’s ask him.”
When the boy and his dad asked the man why he threw the big fish back, his reply was, “Because I only have a ten-inch frying pan.” Some people live their life like that man, with “measured” thinking. If life does not happen to fit their “measurements,” they throw “opportunity” back in the water because there could not possibly be another way but the way they have always done things or thought about things. How many opportunities do our narrow thoughts keep us from enjoying?

As a life coach, I help my clients to recognize fearful mindsets and thought processes that literally make it impossible to face life’s challenges as a happy person. Indecision, doubt, and procrastination are thought processes that are major obstacles in our lives.
What causes us to be indecisive? Indecision creates confusion and turmoil in our lives and it’s much more than simply not making a decision. Not making a decision is making a decision not to decide. By not making up your own mind, you give the power to someone or some other circumstance to make it for you. What does it mean when people respond to a question by saying “I don’t care where we eat, what we do, where we go…”? What they feel is no passion for life, a lack of enthusiasm, and perhaps, mental and physical laziness.
Doubt has a direct line to worry. The thought process of doubt is about lack of confidence and unresolved fear from the past. Often doubt is expressed as criticism of someone else’s success, as a way to cover up for one’s own lack of self‐confidence. Let’s talk about doubt and worry. Worry is the pain and agony of imagining your worst-case scenarios. Some of these situations are realistic and some are imaginary, created by fearful thought patterns. Worry is the habit of looking for the negative in every circumstance. It is the act of thinking and talking about failure instead of concentrating on being successful. If you have a strong sense of self, believe in your abilities, and envision success, success will find you.

What are the things in your life that are no longer serving you well, and how can you change them? What are you waiting for? Why do you put off giving yourself the things that will make you happy?

Do you feel overworked and over-scheduled?
When was the last time you:
Belly-laughed?
Sat on the floor and ate popcorn?
Went to the movie?
Had a mini-retreat?
Went to visit a loved on?

My point is there are six keys of a persons’ life to show that making healthy choices and having the courage to take action can unlock your power to make the kind of positive changes that will create lasting happiness. There are specific ways to help us create happiness in our lives. It all comes down to learning how to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, words, actions environment and the people you allow into your life. Happiness is defined in the dictionary as “a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy.” Our self-talk is important to consider when learning new ways to create happiness in our lives. The decision is ours to create happiness or to live with the ways things are. I believe to be totally authentic, we must take responsibility for our decisions. Think about your own life….Look around you—do your home and workspace reflect who you really are? Or do they reflect other people’s choices?

I have finally found the undeniable truth, that there is no better time to be happy than right now. Our lives will always be filled with challenges and obstacles. These obstacles are both the joys and sorrows in our lives. But in spite of these obstacles we should strive to find happiness and satisfaction in the daily routine of living. Happiness is to be discovered along the way, it is not the end result at the finishing line. Treasure each day, find happiness in little things like the smell of a flower, a beautiful sunset, a kiss from a loved one, a call from a friend, a walk in the park, the sight of children playing, or just taking your loving pet for a walk. The experiences we take for granted every day are too numerous to list. You don’t have to wait until the kids grow older or until you retire or until you get promoted or can afford to move, or until Sunday or until next week.